My name is Colleen Rose McKenzie. This is the story of my years of struggle with illness caused by my breast implants.

I was an average sized girl with an athletic build and small breasts. Many times I wished I had larger breasts because I thought I would look better, clothes would fit better and I would have higher self esteem. Hearing about saline breast implants, which were supposed to be the safe alternative to silicone gel, seemed like an answer to my prayers. At my consultation with the surgeon, I was told that the worst thing that could happen was that the implants could rupture (which would take the impact of a car crash) and I would have to have them replaced. Also, the implant rupture may cause a small infection that could be quickly cured with antibiotics. It sounded too good to be true...little did I know it was. I was implanted in 1997 at the age of 19 with saline-filled breast implants. I was happy with the way my new breasts looked.

About a year and a half later, I started feeling like I had the flu constantly. I was calling in sick to work and going to the doctor often. I did the best I could at work, where I worked as a graphic designer, and tried to ignore the way I was feeling. I started having extreme fatigue where I would fall asleep at work and some days, couldn't even get out of bed. When I was awake, I was very dizzy and too much activity would cause me to pass out. I was put through all the tests and was diagnosed with depression. I saw a psychologist once a week and was put on two anti-depressants and an anxiety medication. I just got worse and worse and ended up taking a leave of absence from work. I laid in bed every day and cried. I was distraught and suicidal. A member of my family was with me almost all the time taking care of me. I could not function. Eventually, because I was so medicated, I managed to go back to work. I couldn't focus or think and I could barely read. At this time, I was still blaming all of my symptoms of illness on depression, because that was the only diagnosis I had gotten. It was a daily struggle to do my best to concentrate with this fog in my head. I was constantly sick, taking days off for flu or sinus infections. It was so hard not being able to tell my employer why I was so sick all the time, because I really didn't know myself. Then the pain started. My joints, muscles and bones ached all over my body. I started having significant memory loss which greatly affected my work. Soon, working was no longer an option.

I continued to get worse. I couldn't drive, read or do anything that required focus and my body was racked with constant pain. Sometimes, I couldn't even hold a conversation. All I could do was lie in bed every day and wonder if I was going to live through this. For a while, I didn't think I would.

After countless visits to specialists, and too many tests to list, I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Epstein Barr Syndrome and Fibromyalgia. The medicine I was put on did not help my symptoms, and I continued to get sicker. One day, my mom brought up the subject of my implants. I guess the thought that my implants were making me sick was always there in the back of my mind, but I figured that surely the doctors I had seen would have told me if that was a possibility. I did some research on the internet and found most of my symptoms congruent with women who had silicone poisoning. But I had saline implants, not silicone. Further research told me that, yes, my implants contain saline, but the shell is made out of silicone. I contacted an online support group by email asking about tests or some way to know if my implants were to blame for my sickness. The email I received back from the support group referred me to a doctor who had developed a test for silicone poisoning. His name is Dr. Douglas R. Shanklin. They went on to list his contact information. I was shocked and elated to see that his office was in Memphis, where I live! I contacted Dr. Shanklin, who sent me to a pathology lab and had me tested. The results came back positive. Finally, I had an answer! I was happy that I now knew what was making me so sick, but at the same time, so devastated that something I had chosen to do to improve my appearance was the cause. I felt so selfish. My family and I had been through so much suffering because I wanted larger breasts.

My greatest symptoms were:

• depression
• extreme fatigue
• fainting
• nausea
• fazes of extreme sleepiness and insomnia
• constant joint, muscle and bone pain
• swollen, sore lymph nodes
• cognitive difficulties including memory loss
• blurred vision and temporary vision loss in one eye
• swollen abdomen, face and hands
• rashes
• daily fever
• "flu feeling" constantly
• hair loss
• bruising
• extreme nose bleeds resulting in trips to the ER
• difficulty breathing
• weight gain

Dr. Shanklin referred me to a surgeon who had experience removing breast implants. I had a bilateral capsulectomy with removal of implants on August 22, 2003. Immediately, my vision improved (I could barely make out people's faces before) and the Fibromyalgia pain seemed to be less intense. About three weeks after having my implants removed, I felt like I was on my way to recovery. Through talks with Dr. Shanklin, who I truly believe to be my guardian angel, I know that I may or may not ever recover fully.

My marriage suffered greatly because of my illness. I was really hard for my husband to understand for a long time because we had no diagnosis. He just wanted me to get up, go back to work and be his wife again...but I couldn't and I couldn't tell him. He had to take care of everything around the house and get a second job to barely have enough money to pay our bills. When I began to recover, I realized how much I had changed, My priorities and the way I viewed myself and life in general changed so much. My husband and I grew apart more and more. We decided to file for divorce after seven years of marriage.

It is difficult for me to put into words how much my family and I have suffered. I have lost years that should have been some of the best of my life. I still deal with anger and bitterness toward the implant manufacturers, plastic surgeons and society for it's views of women and the size of their breasts. Also, I have guilt that all these years of pain and suffering were caused by something that I chose to do...I wanted larger breasts and it almost killed me. Worst of all, I put my family through hell.

After fighting for about a year and a half, I finally got approved to receive Social Security Disability benefits because I still need bed rest and have daily pain. Some days are worse than others depending on my mood and how active I've been. I am on pain medication, anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications. The thought of living my life like this is a lot to cope with, but it gets easier as time goes by. Most days I feel empowered by my illness and the important life lessons I have learned...but some days, I don't feel so strong and I wish this wasn't my life. I hope that as time goes on, those days of weakness will become fewer.

A local paper did a cover story on the problems with breast implants and focused on my story. Also MTV filmed me for a segment of a show called "I want a Famous Face" that follows the stories of people having cosmetic surgery. Each episode features two stories Ð one good and one bad. I hope that by doing the show, I will be able to keep at least one person from making the same mistake I did.

It is important that I tell my story to anyone that will listen. People have got to be aware that saline implants can cause these problems so they can make an educated decision about getting breast implants, If I had been given this information, I never would have gotten those things put in my body. Most importantly, people need to realize that self esteem goes much, much deeper than their breasts and that having larger breasts is in no way worth sacrificing your health and potentially your life.